Honestly, if you’d told me a few years ago that I would spend 18 months, most days 8 hours, on my own in my studio/spare bedroom, singing songs to God; having beautiful time with Him, tearing my hair out, questioning my existence, questioning my purpose, surrendering to Him again…and that was the first hour…I would have laughed at you!
Kind of like this blog. If you had told me a couple of months ago that I would even consider blogging I would have suggested you might like to go back on your medication. The idea of blogging was akin to using the phone. Not something I enjoy. Tell me I’m not the only one who has a mortal fear of talking to strangers on the phone. Phoning the local pizza place is akin to letting a big hairy spider crawl up my arm; which is akin to jumping out of a plane at 10,000 something’s, though I’m convinced that if I was on the ‘Amazing Race’ I could do the skydive…no…really…I wouldn’t be the one in the fetal position…sobbing…
Where was I? Oh yes, the album. My reason for creating the album is this; I wanted to create a space where people could encounter the love of God. Where they could open themselves up to Him and discover, for the first time or the 50th, that He loves them and has a purpose for their lives.
A couple of years ago I had a season in my life where God revealed his love for me in a way that I had not previously experienced. With this revelation came a deep love for others, one born out of beginning to understand the depths of God’s love for me. In future blogs I’ll elaborate on all of this…but it was profound. I deeply desired to know and be known by my Creator and for others to experience the joy and contentment I was experiencing.
Writing an album of songs to God seemed the obvious thing to do at the time. I wish I could say that from there it was like frolicking through a field of daisies, which I’ve heard is simply delightful, but I’d be giving an incomplete picture. God has used the process to test my trust in Him, confront my insecurities and deep seated fears, and provide me with precious times of intimacy and awe in His presence.
If I had to sum up the experience in one word thus far, it would be JOY. I have discovered and rediscovered that God LOVES me. And because I know this with every fibre of my being I also know that GOD LOVES YOU. More than that, He has the most incredible adventure awaiting each of us. All we have to do is say ‘Yes’ to Him and his purposes.
That’s enough from me for now. I don’t know about you, but I really need a cup of tea.
In the coming days and weeks I’m going to give a little insight into the stories behind the songs on the album and into this wacky existence I call ‘my life’. I’d love for you to come back and visit with a cup of tea (or coffee, or cold beverage….whatever YOU want!)